I'm as excited as any red-blooded American about our nation's 250th birthday. It's gonna be a blast, a party for the ages.
But, um, well...
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JUST ANNOUNCED: The lineup for The Great American State Fair is here β and it's bringing the hits. πΊπΈπΆ
Martina McBride, Young MC, C+C Music Factory, Vanilla Ice, Milli Vanilli, The Commodores, Morris Day & The Time, Flo Rida, Bret Michaels β¦and many more.
The "Great American State Fair" is meant to be a national exhibition of the greatness of the U.S. amid the country's 250th birthday celebrations. And I'm sorry, this important patriotic event includes ... Milli Vanilli, Vanilla Ice, C+C Music Factory?
And "many more"??
Here's a breakdown of the musical histories of some of these august performers:
Milli Vanilli: A German pop duo consisting of Fab Morvan and Rob Pilatus. They were last relevant during the George H. W. Bush administration in the early 1990s. They suffered global disgrace when their pre-recorded vocal tracks got stuck on repeat during a "live" performance; they suffered further global disgrace when it was discovered that they had not actually sung on their records but had used other singers' vocals instead. A foreign-born musical act that doesn't sing live, or sing at all, is obviously the perfect choice for an American celebratory concert series.
Vanilla Ice: He needs no introduction, in the worst way possible of course. His height of popularity was quite literally almost 40 years ago. His corny white-boy rap "Ice Ice Baby" is a decades-long joke among Gen Xers and Millennials; nobody else knows who he is. He was on some sort of reality show during the reality boom of the 2000s, but it is not worth our time to go and look up which one.
C+C Music Factory: You have never actually heard of this band, though doubtlessly thousands of times you have heard their biggest hit, "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)", a mainstay stadium anthem at baseball games. (Nobody knows the song is actually called "Gonna Make You Sweat," because that's a terrible name for a song.) You could not pick out any member of the group in a lineup if your life depended on it.
Flo Rida: Legitimately the only relevant artist on this list. He's a rapper, right? Or is he a reality star? Or a YouTuber? Honestly I am not sure, but his music is at least kind of cool.
This is a national embarrassment. Who approved this lineup?
Many other folks felt the same way:
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A few people felt VERY STRONGLY about it:
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Some people thought it was pretty on-brand though:
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Some performers are already backing out of this hot dumpster fire: Morris Day has announced that he will not be performing at the event, as has Young MC.
The series is scheduled to take place at the National Mall throughout June and July.
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