Republicans have finally passed the SAVE ACT with this one weird trick - renaming it the DON'T SAVE ACT. Democrats and RINOs hopped on board and enthusiastically voted for the bill requiring voters to prove they are legal US citizens after the bill was properly named the Democrat way: the opposite of what it actually does. Once named the DON'T SAVE ACT the RINOs and Democrats simply could not resist voting to not save America. A bit uncomfortable with the underhanded trickery, Republicans vowed to never again save America by outsmarting Democrats.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @captainadam.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Airline Waiting For You To Clear Security Before Delaying Your Flight @yantelope
As A Peace Offering, Israel Gifts Mamdani A Pager @twoplus2ischicken
Report: Doctor Only Carries That Tablet Around So He Can Ask ChatGPT What's Wrong With You @kirgol
Mexican Government Warns Their Citizens Not To Eat The Lettuce When They Travel To America @dontslowtheearth
Taco Bell Franchises Now Installing Underwear Dispensers In Bathrooms @ruthiej714
Rebellious Seniors Eat Dinner At The Ungodly Late Hour Of 5 PM @carolyn1
Man Destroys Pristine Flower Arrangement In 5 Seconds @gfanson
It's Spelled ‘Democrat Socialist' But It's Pronounced ‘Communist' @surfduck
Contractor Says He'll Arrive Sometime Between Tomorrow And Infinity @drconservativeprof
Dyson Unveils New $399 ‘Broom And Dustpan' That Never Needs Recharging @twodegreesoff
‘On My Way,' Texts Husband Who Hasn't Even Put On His Shoes Yet @pure_teej
Fauci Recommends N95 Underwear To Stop The Spread Of Cyclospora @bobster
Middle Aged Man Pulls Calf During Wake Up Stretch, Down For Day @lpathehuman
According To New Research, Trans Women Have A 0% Chance Of Becoming A Mom @bmy61
Correspondents' Dinner Attendees Realize Heckling Trump Adds 27 Additional Minutes To Speech @murf
Rookie Christian Couple Caught Holding Hands Before Marriage @reckless4life
Baptists Pretty Sure That The Words Fig Leaves Are A Mistranslation Of The Hebrew Word For Denim @ironsakura
Stinky Green Smoke Rising From Convention Center Indicates Comic Con Has Arrived @batknight
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
To Offset Carbon From One Forest Fire, Canada Outlaws Vehicles For Next 200 Years @leviathan
SAVE Act Passes Unanimously After Being Renamed The DON'T SAVE Act @captainadam
Guy Who's Not Contributing A Dime Tells You To Add Wings To Pizza Order @davidjohnson
Family Casts Lots To Determine Where To Eat After Church @jbaker
Thousands Of Nerds Convert To Christianity After The Bible Is Translated Into Klingon @davidjohnson
Iran Responds To Trump They Didn't Even Like Those Blown Up Bridges Anyway @twodegreesoff
Local Mom With Four Toddlers And A Dog Experiences Her Own Agonizing Three-Hour Version Of The Odyssey In Honda Van @jg67
WNBA Game Breaks Out At In-N-Out @fernando_pessoa
Sophie Cunningham Under Fire For Her Shoe Being Available In Only Men's Or Women's Sizes @twodegreesoff
Bonus - one randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments below.
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