President Trump went to China last week for trade talks with President Xi, which apparently went swimmingly well until one hour after eating food from a Chinese McDonald's, President Trump found himself hungry again. Talks ground to a halt as the only thing Trump could think about was the rumbly in his tumbly. Xi then began repeating "hummm dum dee dumm" and suggested they munch an early luncheon, even though they both had just finished a super sized Big Mac, Fries and Diet Coke from a local Chinese McDonald's. Trump and Xi then climbed a tree looking for a little something sweet, and after finding some honey and tumbling down when the limb broke, talks resumed. But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @bobster.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Anti-Fraud Task Force Uncovers 535 People At Same Address Stealing Your Money: Congress @dontslowtheearth
Democrats Accuse Trump Of Being A Chinese Spy After Leaked Footage Shows Him Meeting With Xi Jinping @kirgol
China Admits Spy Became California Mayor To Learn More About True Communism @twodegreesoff
RFK Jr Announces SNACK Program Where You Get A Job And Buy Any Junk Food You Want @drconservativeprof
Cubans Increasingly Identify As Islamic Terrorists In Hopes Of Being Sent To Guantanamo Bay @neohillbilly
Husband Displeased With Redistricting Of Wife's Side Of Bed @webidtheefarewell
Adam Thankful For Serpent Who Gave Eve Someone Else To Talk To About Her Day @njhokie84
Husband Still Thinks ‘Yes' Is The Correct Answer To ‘Is That What You're Wearing?' @vernhilda
Xi Asks Trump If He Wants Some Hunter Biden Paintings @thebigfreeze
Kamala Harris Proves There's No Bad Ideas When You're Drunk @ruthiej714
Kool-Aid Man Sets Another Escape Room Record @lpathehuman
New Historical Evidence Shows That Marco Polo Was Actually Marco Rubio @ironsakura
National Mall Renovations Won't Reflect Well On Trump's Presidency Say Democrats @gfanson
PM Starmer Defends Sacred Tradition Of Ignoring Public @carolyn1
Senators Vote To Forego Paychecks During Shutdowns, Will Rely Exclusively On Insider Trading @dustynederlander
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Public Defender Feeling Great After Getting Psychotic Killer Released Back Onto The Streets @captainadam
Local Wife Gives Twelve Answers To One Question @tylermontgomery
Nolan Reveals Achilles' Weakness Was Actually Pickle Jars @baberahamlincoln
Trump Hungry Again An Hour After Eating At Chinese McDonald's @bobster
Dad Of Little Leaguer Buys Son $200 Bat So He Looks Impressive When Striking Out @darrell68
Trump Drops Tariffs On Winnie-the-Pooh Products After Meeting With Xi @gfanson
NVIDIA Unveils New "Cool Ranch" AI Chip @klamer1446
"How Long Must Your Servant Endure, O Lord" Exclaims Man After Chip Breaks In Guac @farnorth
Rubio Advises Trump To Stop Squinting & Saying "Ah, So!" Every Time Xi Finishes A Sentence @skp
Nation Reassured As New Guy Put In Charge Of Money Printer @demarti
Bonus - one randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments below.
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