Pickleball was supposed to be for old people who don't move well.
It's clear that we're beyond that point.
According to the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office, Michele Bannister, 47, of St. Augustine, allegedly went full John Wick on another player at a park on May 31 after a disagreement over - and I can't stress this enough - who was supposed to get the ball when it got away.
Not a joke.
This argument apparently got Michele worked up, because after the match when her opponent was speaking to her son about his playing style she "interjected" by going to town on the guy's head - with her paddle.
You won't believe me if I write this myself, so here's the Daily Caller:
From there, police say that the woman used a pickleball paddle and hit the victim multiple times in the head, resulting in the man having numerous face cuts and heavy bloodshed.
To make matters worse, Bannister allegedly gave police a false name, so she'll be hit with that misdemeanor as well.
Here's another quote from the story you won't believe:
Police state in the report that the woman was using 'a weapon that can cause serious bodily injury or death,' which triggered her felony charge.
Lady somehow turned a game of old-people tennis into a felony and a misdemeanor.
Proof that some of you take pickleball way too seriously (I might also be one of those people).
Anyhow, keep your head on straight out there when you're dinking, folks. You'll win more games that way anyway.
I'll leave this here:
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