Eighty-four-year-old Edward Bowlds was minding his own business meandering through a Waffle House parking lot, when suddenly there appeared before him the most wonderful apparition: an advertisement for strawberry shortcake waffles.
Just like the ancient mariners passing the Sirenusas, the bedazzling siren of crispy pastry divots filled with macerated strawberries and mountains of fluffy whipped cream were too much for poor Edward to resist, and he wrecked on the rocks of an "abnormally high" curb.
According to a court filing viewed by The Independent, poor Edward fell face-first, causing permanent injury.
It accuses the Waffle House in Bartow, Florida, of ‘[i]ncreasing the risk of harm beyond ordinary conditions by prioritizing marketing and visual appeal over pedestrian safety,' claiming the window ads were ‘intended to attract and hold the attention of patrons approaching on foot,' while maintaining they were entirely unnecessary.
‘In other words, these advertisements were for customers already at the restaurant who were already pre-disposed to dining at the restaurant but were still ambulating across the parking lot and onto the sidewalk,' the complaint argues.
The combination of curb height, a lack of warning paint, and the ‘distraction created by the window advertisements… all amount to unreasonably dangerous conditions' at the Waffle House in question, the complaint contends.
Unreasonably dangerous conditions at the Waffle House?
That has to be the biggest understatement of the year, given Waffle House's reputation:
Seriously, an advertisement for strawberry shortcake waffles is pretty low on the threat level when we're talking about dining at a Waffle House.
The curb did rough up Edward pretty good, and he's facing some serious medical bills.
At Bowlds' age, a shoulder replacement - which would purportedly bring his total medical costs from about $25,000 at the moment to roughly $100,000 - is not a viable option, according to the letter, which describes Bowlds as now living a ‘sedentary lifestyle at home in his recliner, [u]nable to assist his wife with grocery shopping, doing lawn care that he used to do, and ordinary everyday tasks around the house.'
Waffle House denies all culpability.
In a March 15 answer to the allegations, Waffle House denied culpability, asserting that the premises ‘are maintained in a reasonably safe condition,' and that Bowlds 'failed and neglected to use reasonable care to protect himself.' The raised curb was ‘open and obvious' to all, the filing states.
Note that their answer refuses to address the strawberry shortcake waffles at all.
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