Elon Musk's net worth zoomed past $1 Trillion after SpaceX went public with its IPO launch. Liberals wept as investors rushed to buy SPCX stock, wanting to own a piece of another one of Musk's very successful companies. As his net worth rocketed past $1 Trillion, Musk surveyed the landscape of all he had created and had compassion on his critics who were only worth a couple million or less. "Don't worry," he said in a post on X (which he owns and is very successful). "If I can make a trillion dollars, anyone can. The first trillion is always the hardest and I've just done it, so it will now be easier for everyone else." At press time his critics were still crying because they are liberals.
But that's not all that happened last week!
Read on for exclusive headlines you will only see here on the Bee Forum News, because Bee subscribers see things no one else sees and say things no one else is brave enough to say, for some reason. (Title headline by @baberahamlincoln.)
Top Headlines of the Week - headlines with the most upvotes by forum members:
Man Wishes Holy Spirit Would Remind Him Why He Walked Into The Kitchen @kirgol
Everyone Mad About War Now Mad About Peace @neohillbilly
Iran Now Chanting "Canadian Healthcare To America" @baberahamlincoln
JD Vance Criticized For Attacking Mentally Disabled Women On 'The View' @coachjoeconway
NYC Finally Answers Kamala's Question ‘Who Doesn't Love A Yellow School Bus?' @ruthiej714
Happy Juneteenth To The Countless White Men Who Died To Free The Slaves @slateslabrock
Prime Minister Starmer To Be Replaced By Bottle Of Ranch Dressing @twoplus2ischicken
Experts Confirm ‘Dad Joke Supply' Is A Renewable Resource @murf
Liberals Dye Hair Green To Show Solidarity With Algae @drconservativeprof
Canadian Man Arrested For Carrying A Dangerous Weapon In Public: The Bible @ironsakura
Obama Really Wishing Michelle Would Stop Leaving The Seat Up @jwasabi
Sad: Suspects In UFC Plot Just Copied Their Manifesto From The NY Times @dontslowtheearth
‘Peace! Be Still!' Fails To Calm Tumultuous Wife @brothertim
Elliot Page Gives Flat Performance In Christopher Nolan's Odyssey @gfanson
Woke Couple Signs Up For SNAP Benefits To Celebrate Juneteenth @carolyn1
Sometimes, really great headlines don't make it to the top so here are some of my favorites:
Elon Says The First Trillion Is Always The Hardest @baberahamlincoln
Wealth Overtakes Agriculture As California's Leading Export @michaelbmurphy
Guest Pastor Ends Sermon With "Michelle Obama Is A Man, Am I Right Wind River Bible Church?!" @theraider
Family Fails To Get Dad What He Really Wants For Father's Day: A Weather Dominator @unlockedmilk
Muslim Man Breaks Away From Rape Gang To Launch Solo Raping Career @tylermontgomery
PRIDE Activists Unveil 250 New Genders To Celebrate America's Semiquincentennial Birthday @billgremm
German Soccer Fan @FreddyLA7 Leading In Polls For US President @carlcamera
Imprisoned Paul Fashions First ‘Jesus Saves' License Plate @davel
Rachel Levine Hoping His Kids Will Remember Father's Day This Year @israel
Bonus - one randomly selected headline:
Do you have breaking news to report? Join us! Who knows, your headline might get published or featured on the Babylon Bee homepage, or it could show up here in our re-cap of the top headlines of the week. Thousands more totally true headlines were posted this week on the forum, but sadly, only Bee subscribers can read them. You did get to read a few, though, so if you have a favorite, please let us know in the comments below.
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